Hi and welcome to Stoking the Fire

Hi there, I'm Nic Tovey, Relationship and Intimacy Coach and Psychotherapist, and and I'm so pleased that you're here.

Firstly I want to congratulate you for taking this first step to help reignite and sustain the passionate fire in your relationship. That is no small thing so I respect you for getting this far!

And secondly I'd like to thank you for trusting in me to be your guide and companion along this section of your journey.

None of us have ever been taught how to do relationship. Most of our parents were only able to teach us by their own example, and many of them had no clue themselves. We were left to work it out for ourselves while on the job, relationship to relationship, riding the heartbreak merry-go-round, and of course we’ve all screwed it up along the way, but hopefully we’ve learnt a few things along the way. 

Relationship is a verb; it is not something we have it is something we DO. It is an art form, and like all art forms it requires a certain set of skills and talents, some that may come naturally and some that may need to be acquired and developed. But, as with any piece of art, every relationship is its own unique mystery, constantly creating itself.

If you're anything like most couples, you come across times in your relationship when you feel more like room mates than soul mates. You may be there now. It is no secret that the passionate fire that was ablaze at the beginning of most relationships can often dwindle to embers at best. Other things get in the way - too tired, busy, stressed, etc. etc. etc. Its easy to allow bad habits to take hold and before we know it we're in the cohabitant zone. This is usually accepted as the norm, "just the way it always goes", but is that really how it has to be? Do we have to just roll over and accept it? Well I'm very happy to say a loud and resounding NO! 

I have seen this happen in too many relationships to count, both in my work and in my personal life. And of course I've been there myself too, so I get it. But we all deserve way better than that!

Stoking the Fire is a short but powerful program to help you both bring some passion back into your relationship, or to put some extra fuel on your fire if its still burning well.

As I said earlier, relationship is a verb, it is something we do. Not only that your relationship is always evolving as you each grow and progress as individuals. Therefore it is a very positive thing to be engaged in a continuous process of engaged learning, so this is the right place to be to learn how to create the relationship you desire.

Who is this for?

  • Couples of all types, ages and orientations

  • Whether you've been together for a week or a decade

  • Who may be having challenges in their relationship

  • Maybe experiencing some blocks to intimacy

  • Or just want to inject a little more fuel into their fire

  • Couples who are willing and ready to learn and grow together

What will you get from the program?

During the 7 week Stoking the Fire couples program you will be guided through a progressive journey to help you stoke the embers and get that fire blazing again and keep it alight.

The program will help you both:

  • Discover more about yourself as an individual and as part of your couple
  • Learn about your particular relationship dynamic and how best to work with it
  • Discover more about your own and each others desires and the best ways to work with them  
  • Develop the foundational skills to nurture of your relationship from the core outwards
  • Give yourself and each other permission to prioritise Self Love as fuel for the love between you 
  • Learn simple but powerful tools and practices to take to the bedroom (or where ever else takes your fancy!) 
  • Create a deeper level of understanding, compassion and connectedness from where you can maintain the fire.
  • Relax in the knowing that you're doing what it takes to nurture a healthy, fulfilling and passionate relationship.

What is included in the program

  • 7 daily instructional videos

  • Questionnaires and worksheets

  • Video demonstrations

  • Daily practices and tasks

  • Downloadable audio processes

  • Options for continuous support


All of this for the one time fee of:

Program Curriculum

  • Relational Foundations - Healthy Communication

  • Relational Foundations Cont. - Emotional Relating

  • Self-Love - The Place to Begin

  • Playing Safe - Claiming our Boundaries & Desires

  • Sexual Polarity - The Dance of the Masculine & Feminine

  • Relational Dynamics in Play - The Wheel of Consent

  • Sacred Intimacy - The Foundations of Tantra

About Nic

Nic had humble beginnings growing up in a working class environment in the north of England before following a call for adventure and manhood and joined the Royal Navy at 16 as an engineer and diver. After 5 years of service he left and emigrated to Australia and soon settled into marriage and family life.

After experiencing a violent, life threatening attack in his early 20's Nic suffered with PTSD and severe depression. This experience lead Nic down a path of self discovery and education to eventually become a practicing psychotherapist with a passion to help empower people with the skills to navigate life's challenges.

Along Nic's career journey and personal life he saw repeatedly that people's relationships and intimacy were at the core of many of life's challenges and gifts and so his work now is specifically focused on the wild and exciting realm of love, relationships, intimacy and sexuality. Nic is passionate about the evolving world of gender, sexuality and relationships and desires to help people navigate these areas of life in an empowered and joyous way.

Nic draws from a decade of experience counselling and coaching hundreds of men, women and couples. Nic has trained with some of the worlds great relationship therapists such as Esther Perel, Terry Real and John Gottman, and his work also blends extensive experience in Tantra and Sacred Sexuality. And of course Nic brings with him a substantial relationship resume with plenty of mistakes and successes. 

Are you ready to reignite the passionate fire between you?

Enrol Now